How do I even begin to reflect on the most influential summer of my life? I want to write a million words to explain how I feel about my departure from my first "year" in graduate school but I don't have the slightest idea how I could even begin to formulate what I want to express.
Today we terminated our program in a healthy way, sharing our feelings about each other, social work, our teachers, and ourselves. We talked about what we learned and how we learned it. We shared deep stories. We laughed a lot. And we cried a lot. We played basketball, ate homemade food and ice cream, and wrote each other notes. We sat in a circle. We stood in a circle. We communicated one-on-one.
Looking around the room today at the people who I began this program with just under two months ago makes me realize the importance of relationships, understanding, accepting, and learning from differences, and the true value of experiential education. We have changed so much both individually and as a group and I know that without the people in my program, I would never have grown and learned as much as I did.
Words cannot begin to express how meaningful this summer was for me at YU but I am so thankful for every moment I had.
Monday, July 20
Thursday, July 16
Kisses
So, they are everywhere. It's inevitable. Everyone's doing it. And if they aren't doing it, they are planning to do it, really soon. I'm perplexed by New York more and more each day that I live here. But something that is impossible to ignore is the amount of men and women who line the busy streets completely smitten for one another.
Then there's the religious folk. I think religious people have a lot more up their sleeves than you would think. They just hide it better, that's all. I don't mean this in a critical or cynical way, just in an honest, "I know you're saying and doing exactly what I'm doing, except behind closed doors", kind of way. It's interesting the way religious Judaism manifests itself in American society. I've been thinking about this for a while since I've been back in America. I'm seeing religious Judaism from a very new light, one that I have never experienced before. I grew up secular in Boston, became religious in Arizona, and then studied in Israel. These places are all so different in terms of religion. New York is on an entirely different wavelength, one that I have yet to figure out.
School's done in one day. In many ways it feels like this "one day" is much longer than it is since I still have one more paper to complete. I think this summer was one of the best learning experiences I've ever had. I grew so much through this program and when I say 'this program' I mean through my professors, my peers, and my readings. I can't believe how phenomenal some of my professors at YU are. Seriously, one of my teachers was the best teacher I have ever had and this is something like my 18th year in school. I learned the most from simply being in her presence, as cheesy as that sounds. The readings were great too. I think you can learn everything you would ever need to know to be a social worker from them. I mean, aside for hands-on experience, but that comes with time. I couldn't believe the breadth and depth of some of our textbooks. I sincerely enjoyed the topics in them. And the people in the program, can't forget them. I really love them. I was looking at our class picture by the GW bridge earlier today and I realized that for the first time in my life, I was staring at a picture worth thousands of words. I know so much about each and every person in this picture that it feels as if we are a family. What's ironic about that is that all of us have only known each other for six weeks. I love how much I've grown through each person I've shared class time and social time with and I know that I'll cherish these relationships forever.
Back to the kissing, or lack thereof at 590 Fort Washington. I miss having intimate friendships and I don't mean that in a sexual way. I mean it in a sincere way. I have more friends than I can count on my fingers and toes but NYC is still a lonely place. I want a solid, core group of friends. I'm so curious when this will occur. I'm curious how it will occur, where these mysterious people will come from, and what they will be like. I'm most curious about where to find them. Like finding the person you'll marry, I'm sure it will happen where I least expect it. But how does one go about solving the problem of lonliness when the solution is such a mystery?
School's out and that means I can begin experiencing New York. I don't know where to begin. The UWS confuses, intrigues, excites, and sickens me - all at once. Does that make any sense? I was there tonight on a date with my friend Rachel and I experienced that entire mix of emotions - and more - throughout the evening. We ate great food and talked for hours at a beautiful Asian restaurant. We people watched (and saw couple after couple after couple...of course) and strolled the streets of the West Side. I took the train home feeling almost fulfilled. Something was missing though. And I'm not sure what it was.
Then there's the religious folk. I think religious people have a lot more up their sleeves than you would think. They just hide it better, that's all. I don't mean this in a critical or cynical way, just in an honest, "I know you're saying and doing exactly what I'm doing, except behind closed doors", kind of way. It's interesting the way religious Judaism manifests itself in American society. I've been thinking about this for a while since I've been back in America. I'm seeing religious Judaism from a very new light, one that I have never experienced before. I grew up secular in Boston, became religious in Arizona, and then studied in Israel. These places are all so different in terms of religion. New York is on an entirely different wavelength, one that I have yet to figure out.
School's done in one day. In many ways it feels like this "one day" is much longer than it is since I still have one more paper to complete. I think this summer was one of the best learning experiences I've ever had. I grew so much through this program and when I say 'this program' I mean through my professors, my peers, and my readings. I can't believe how phenomenal some of my professors at YU are. Seriously, one of my teachers was the best teacher I have ever had and this is something like my 18th year in school. I learned the most from simply being in her presence, as cheesy as that sounds. The readings were great too. I think you can learn everything you would ever need to know to be a social worker from them. I mean, aside for hands-on experience, but that comes with time. I couldn't believe the breadth and depth of some of our textbooks. I sincerely enjoyed the topics in them. And the people in the program, can't forget them. I really love them. I was looking at our class picture by the GW bridge earlier today and I realized that for the first time in my life, I was staring at a picture worth thousands of words. I know so much about each and every person in this picture that it feels as if we are a family. What's ironic about that is that all of us have only known each other for six weeks. I love how much I've grown through each person I've shared class time and social time with and I know that I'll cherish these relationships forever.
Back to the kissing, or lack thereof at 590 Fort Washington. I miss having intimate friendships and I don't mean that in a sexual way. I mean it in a sincere way. I have more friends than I can count on my fingers and toes but NYC is still a lonely place. I want a solid, core group of friends. I'm so curious when this will occur. I'm curious how it will occur, where these mysterious people will come from, and what they will be like. I'm most curious about where to find them. Like finding the person you'll marry, I'm sure it will happen where I least expect it. But how does one go about solving the problem of lonliness when the solution is such a mystery?
School's out and that means I can begin experiencing New York. I don't know where to begin. The UWS confuses, intrigues, excites, and sickens me - all at once. Does that make any sense? I was there tonight on a date with my friend Rachel and I experienced that entire mix of emotions - and more - throughout the evening. We ate great food and talked for hours at a beautiful Asian restaurant. We people watched (and saw couple after couple after couple...of course) and strolled the streets of the West Side. I took the train home feeling almost fulfilled. Something was missing though. And I'm not sure what it was.
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