So here I am, in Manhattan at last.
I always had a hunch that at some point in my life I would wind up here. Well, it happened. Reality still hasn't set in though. While walking to school today, I saw a bunch of people hanging out on their front stoops. It reminded me of Sesame Street. But no, it was just Washington Heights.
I've been here for a little over two weeks now (excluding a five day vacation in Arizona) and I'm surprisingly happy. Much happier than I had expected. I have a beautiful bedroom up on Fort Washington Avenue. I've made it comfy and cozy. It is filled with all of my favorite things, including my comforter from college and my happy lamp. The hardwood floors and high ceiling are stunning and make me so thankful for everything I have around me at all times.
School began last week. I am taking 12 credits, which is five classes (and another which begins in a couple weeks). It's a lot of work but I don't feel stressed at all. The program is filled with people from all backgrounds. People range in age, as my professor said, "From 22 to 80". Well, I'm still 21, so take that. I'm by far the youngest person in the program. Typical though. That's how things always work out for me.
On that note, I'm turning 22 this week. It's been quite the year. I graduated college, studied in Israel twice, traveled to Greece twice, and visited Italy and England. I made hundreds of new friends, gained a strong sense of confidence of where I stand in my Judaism, and began a master's program. I began my twenty-first year in Greece, so drinking wasn't too exciting because there is no 'legal' age enforced. Then I spent half my twenty-first year in Israel, another country where the age doesn't matter. So, I must say that I didn't get my time's worth in the American bar scene. Oh well, I'm sure I drank plenty. I'm thankful for the times I don't remember just as much as I am for those that I do.
I'm alone in my bed tonight, like most nights. Last night was an exception and the thunder and lightning made me thankful for those around me. New York City is a lonely place. I'm sure I'm not the first to make such a statement. This place is filled with twenty-something-million people and I've never felt more alone in my entire life. Sometimes a good hug from someone familiar is what is necessary. Other times, like during my lunch break today, the loneliness prevails and I begin to cry. This has happened a lot lately. Today it just happened to occur on the corner of 186th and Amsterdam, right in front of school. The tears that I have shed are silent and lonely tears. I think that they are filled with sadness rooted in the deep feeling of loss I've experienced since leaving Arizona in December and Israel last month. It hurts to leave those close to you.
So I don't know what is in store for my future. My iCal is empty for the first time in years. I had no plans tonight. I have no plans tomorrow night. I might see Sam Thursday night and then Friday night is Shabbat, which I have left the plans up to my friend Luba. Apparently, we are staying local. This is definitely going to be one of those birthdays where the phrase "if you don't expect anything, you can't be disappointed" can be perfectly applied. I guess I'm due for a not-so-exciting birthday since my last birthdays have been spent dancing on bars in Paris (19), bar hopping in Tiveria, Israel with my Aish friends (20), and galavanting through Athens with Laura and my cousins (21). I don't sense that Washington Heights can top those. I hope that doesn't mean I'm getting too old to have a good time.
22 does scare me though. It seems like a crappy year. I probably shouldn't go into a new year with such a negative attitude. I spoke with a friend the other day who is older and said that she wished she could have stayed 22 forever. I think I feel that way about 21. It's crazy to think that a year in my life could be more amazing, exciting, and eventful than the past 360 days have been. But that's the way the world works. Who knows, I could meet the man of my dreams. I could actually learn Hebrew. I could learn to play guitar. I could finally spend a good amount of time (though never enough) with my best friend. These could potentially make the year a runner-up to 21. I still don't know about surpassing it though...
Well, that's about it for the ranting and raving of my last Tuesday as a 21-year-old. Here's to two more days of classes, a day off, Shabbat/my birthday, and Sunday with my parents. Let's go New York City.
